As I prepare for the arrival of my baby girl, I can't help reflecting on all the "lasts" that will be/have happened this year. Wil and I shared our last Christmas alone in December, along with all of the other holidays that have passed this year. We will celebrate his last birthday without children in September, and possibly my birthday in October (depending on if this little one decides to make an early entrance or not). When we go to Bryce Canyon next year, or go on our yearly camping trip with the Weight family next August, we will be going with a child in tow.
It is crazy to think about and baffles me every time I try to picture it. I am so used to it being just me and Wil. Packing is a breeze and we usually only need 1 suitcase between the two of us. That definitely won't be the case once little one is born. We won't be able to just get away for the weekend without much planning anymore (not that we do that a ton anyway). I won't be able to get away with doing laundry every two weeks or so (especially since I intend to go the cloth diaper route). We won't be able to eat out whenever we want or to just not think about food much until we're hungry. Our baby will get hungry and we'll have to plan for that. It's all a bit overwhelming sometimes!
After thinking through all of this, I also find myself excited for the new firsts we'll get to experience, good and bad. Our first time seeing and holding the child that Heavenly Father has, for some reason, decided to trust to our care. Our first Christmas with a child (not that she'll remember it at all, but I will). Our first family outing. Our first messy diaper. Our first public tantrum. I'm actually looking forward to it all and am excited to see how being parents will change us.
I'm hopeful that we'll grow and become better people because of it, and not revert to our lower selves. I'm hopeful that Wil and I will grow closer together as we share the joys and trials of parenting. I am scared to death of all the changes that will be coming in the next few months, while at the same time, I am overjoyed to experience this new adventure. I know these are all totally normal thoughts, but I felt like I needed to share them.
Now I just need to try to remember to stop thinking too much and enjoy life as it comes a bit more.
I totally relate. Jason and I were married for JUST over 10 years before we had our little tornado and it was a BIG adjustment after a decade without kids. However, we both feel that we benefited greatly from the time we had to grow up a little bit and gain maturity and experience both in the world and as a couple together. We are definitely more confident, patient and MUCH more in sync than we would have been early in our marriage. We both loved the time we had together just the two of us, but sometimes now we wonder what we did with all that time! Looking back, life seems so much more boring and less fulfilling without a child.
ReplyDeleteYou're very wise to soak up these last few months of "alone time" and appreciate them as they pass. And yes, you WILL have hundreds, no..thousands of amazing firsts in your world for a long time to come. We experience them almost daily and I have to say that parenting has been the craziest, hardest, most fulfilling, joyful, amazing experience of our lives and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can't wait to share this commonality with you and Wil. It's gonna be a blast!